2009年第3期翻译擂台点评

 

中国外交学院 张允怡

Haute couture is really a matter of burning money. Yet, this won't stand in the way of Jean Paul Gaultier presenting his work - a luxurious, exquisite and elegant visual feast of the 80's style, in the spring of 2009. Jean Paul Gaultier has perfectly combined feathers and embroidery to create intricate styles of dresses and gorgeous swirling lace, making them the best of luxury. Jean Paul Gaultier has shown us his proudest asset: perfect tailoring and flawless embroidery. It may be said that Jean Paul Gaultier's spring haute couture of 2009 is of great success! The dramatic finery, together with sharp-edged, protruding lines and fascinating curves, has made everyone fully appreciate the charm of the superstars from the 1980s.

外编点评：翻译得特别棒，跟英语母语者有得一拼！译得真得非常好，只有一些小瑕疵，如：

1、“春季高级定制秀”应该说成Spring Haute Couture collection；

2、“the best of luxury”有点奇怪，改成the most luxurious on the market、the most luxurious available或者the height of luxury会更好。

3、“is of great success”应该说成is a great success。

 

浙江荷园中学 徐侠英

It's really a costly fair to make to order superiorly. However, it can't prevent luxury, elabration and beauty of the style of 80s that Jean Paul Gaultier presents in the spring of 2009. Jean Paul Gaultier combines feather with embroidery perfectly. The fussy style of dress and beautiful swirl of fine laces tell the most luxury. Jean Paul Gaultier shows us her proudest capital: perfect tailor and seamless embroidery. It's successful to make to order, so to speak. People can get a taste of the great stars in the 80s from the sharp and prominent lines and fantastic correlation of curves and the dress full of dramatic conflict.

外编点评：

1、 文中有一个典型但是又可以理解的错误。法语词组haute couture（高级定制）的在英语中的字面意思就是made to order，但是在描述时尚的时候我们使用haute couture，但是在其它情况下两者可以通用。

2、 Jean Paul Gaultier也是一个人名，是男性，因此应该用he；

3、 需要注意的是Jean在英语中是女性的名字，但是在法语中男女都可以使用。

4、 另外，第一个句子很混乱，其余部分大体上不错，有一些小问题，例如，feather应该写作feathers；tailor应该是tailoring。

 

四川外语学院 汪益  

Advanced Customization is indeed money-consuming, but this will not hinder Jean Paul Gaultier from presenting us a luxurious, exquisite and gorgeous visual feast full of 1980s styles in the spring of 2009. Jean Paul Gaultier witnesses the perfect combination of feather and embroidery, and luxury is fully demonstrated by its complicated costume styles and beautiful swirl-type lace. Jean Paul Gaultier shows us its trump cards which deserve the greatest proud: perfect tailor and flawless embroidery. We can say that Jean Paul Gaultier's Advanced Customization Show in the spring of 2009 is extremely successful! Its sharp and salient lines, fascinating curve comparison and costumes full of dramatic conflicts provide people with full access to the elegant demeanors of giant stars in the 1980s.

外编点评：

1、 翻译得也很不错，同样也是“高级定制”的译法错误，应该是haute couture。

2、 有些地方的时态很奇怪，应该是didn't hinder，因为文中描述的是过去的一场时装秀（这也是其他两位译者出现错误的地方）。

3、 Witness的主语一般是“见证者”，而非“创造者”， 因此应该说成Jean Paul Gaultier shows/presents us。

4、 另外也丢了一些复数形式，如应该是feathers和comparisons。